She recognized the strange happiness that came from loving something without knowing why you did, that strange happiness that was sometimes so big that it felt like sadness.
There are things I never tell anyone. Not a soul.
Not that I haven’t tried. I did.
More than I could count. But the sad thing is every time I do, I realise that people tend to not understand. They say they do, but their eyes and face says otherwise.
And so I keep these things inside.
All bottled up.
There are times I even forget that I have them.
But from time to time, I come across things —- a photo, a word, a sentence, a phrase, a color, a scent, a feeling —- and it all comes tumbling down. Waking my senses. Sometimes with a mild tug, yet other times with a nerve wracking jolt.
There are some things I never tell a soul, like:
How my heart throbs with a dull ache seeing a picture of a person crying. His face full of anguish and pain that I could almost feel it too.
How my heart feels torn to pieces watching a video of two siblings scavenging the ground for some thrown out bread.
How I wish I could buy everything whatever the old woman on the photo is selling just to spare her the excruciating heat and body numbing tiredness of waiting for her goods to be bought.
How my heart flutters seeing a couple tenderly looking at each other’s eyes —- twinkling, and full of love, and longing.
How nostalgic I feel going through my empty perfume bottles and sniffing the last traces of fragrance, each one reminding me of a certain place in time, a certain moment, a certain person.
You see,…. I feel all these so deeply and so suddenly that at times I could go on for hours feeling nothing but what these things has awakened in me.
I could brood for hours on end savouring their effects on my being. Swept away by the nostalgia, the depths and emotions, layer after layer, shade after shade.
There are things I never tell a soul it’s true.
And though it’s ever changing.
The scenes and thoughts and feelings invariably so,…
There’s just one thing I realised:
That I tend to not tell a soul about all these not for fear of being thought of as weird, or overly dramatic, but the fear of being misunderstood.
Because you see, when a person is understood, he can put up with almost anything. And oh God, how I would like to be understood.
9th April 2014
#musings #nocturnalwanderings #restlessonatuesday
harry potter meme ϟ nine relationships (4/9) - harry and hermione
This made me feel suddenly nostalgic.
Pink Cherry Blossom, Oozells Square Peace Garden, Birmingham, England
All Original Photography by http://vwcampervan-aldridge.tumblr.com